Non-Stop Reads: John Hartnett – 10 Things I Wish I Knew About Being an Author I Didn’t Know Before

Friday, October 4, 2013

John Hartnett – 10 Things I Wish I Knew About Being an Author I Didn’t Know Before

10 Things I Wish I Knew About Being an Author I Didn’t Know Before

by John Hartnett

1.There actually isn’t a federal law that writers must chain smoke unfiltered cigarettes, drink copious amounts of alcohol, get into fist fights or carouse with strange women. It’s strictly a guideline. In addition, wearing a cardigan sweater while writing is also optional.

2. Every time you are hard at work writing and in that place where the words seem to be flowing from deep within your subconscious, someone in your family will ask you to come down and get the grill going.

3. If you use profanity or write long descriptive passages about lovemaking in your work and your mother is still living, there will be at least one unpleasant conversation where you will momentarily wish she wasn’t.

4. There are worse things than having your work disappear from your computer. Number one is having your list of things that are worse than having your work disappear from your computer disappear from your computer.

5. No matter how strong your teeth are, you can not “eat” your way through a writer’s block.

6. If a studio inquires about the movie rights to your book about the invention of the place mat, never tell them to “get in line.”

7. If people didn’t judge books by their covers, designers couldn’t charge so much.

8. Rejection of an artist’s work is a natural and common occurrence but if your dog digs your stuff, that’s all that matters.

9. There is nothing good that can come from stealing from another author. Unless it’s a power washer. A good one will cost you more than $300 and there’s little point in buying one since you’ll really only need it maybe twice a year.

10. Never purchase a new car on credit with the intention of paying it off with your royalties.